Alarm Clocks, They Ought To Be Outlawed

Well, I believe it's time for me to address another concern of mine; I really can't believe more people aren't concerned about this issue.
Simply put, alarm clocks can cause minor heart attacks and for someone with a weak heart, I believe it could be fatal.
Let's think about this for a moment,logically.
You're peacefully sleeping, when suddenly screaming in a high pitched, banshee sounding tone, you're alarm clock goes off. Suddenly your heart rate goes from a slow and steady sleep rate to a panic stricken, rapid heart rate.
Now, don't you think for someone with a weak heart it could be fatal?
Or is this why you're allowed to retire after you reach a certain age? Your heart can no longer take the strain, so they allow you to enter the time of life where a alarm clock is optional. I mean, if you WANT a heart attack it's certainly your choice, but it's no longer required you play Russian Roulette with your heart.
I suppose alarm clocks could be set to go off with something slow, steady and calming song such as Shenandoah, but really, who is going to wake up to that? It would seem more like encouragement to sleep even deeper.
No, I think the solution is simple; our bodies know when we've had enough sleep, we simply need to listen to them and wake up for work accordingly. We don't need any banshees greeting us in the morning; that would simply put us in a bad mood and thus cause us to be complete grouches to our coworkers.
I close with this, " Alarm Clocks Are Evil".

           

These Are My Thoughts

It is with trepidation that i venture to broach my thoughts on a particular subject and that subject is quite simply, coffee. Yes, I said coffee. You see, most poor souls are afraid to drink coffee because of the stigma of becoming "one of Those people"   and by one of " those people", they mean someone who obviously can not function without a pot of that brain stimulating liquid we call coffee, and if they can not function without consuming copious amounts of a beverage that some thinks smells like skunk, then, obviously they must be stupid. I mean, after all, anyone who drinks something that smells like skunk is obviously deranged and in need of help right? On the contrary my faint of heart friends! coffee is liquid gold. It soothes our nerves while stimulating our brain cells. What could be better?
They say the " early bird gets the worm". I am of the opinion that if that poor worm had had a cup of Jo, the story would have ended quite differently. I'm equally quite certain that the bird had drank half a pot of French Roast blend, before starting out on his breakfast search! Let this be a lesson to you tea drinkers that if you drink a pot of coffee you are guaranteed to catch worms!
Wait...maybe that didn't come out right.....